26th October; p2

Let's pretend baby
that you just met me

lol. Opening lines to a song.
Why is it i'm only poetic when I'm on the verge of suicide? I'll never know.

You know the truth?
I'm alone.
As much as I try to hide it, as many 'temporary' fixes as I find,
when it comes down to it, who really loves the shadow on a wall?

Don't get me wrong, I've made some valuable acquaintances and one special person still remains in my heart.

But on events like say, valentine's or any other couple-based day,
I'll just echo melancholy. Everyone's gonna be busy.
Bleughk, I need to get a shotgun. Easier to shoot things.
Losing the battle for power

26th Oct

*sighs*
Exams underway, I think I'm fuckin screwed.
In other news, I don't think there'smuch to write. Aside from the fact that sniping in Halo is fun . Very fun. Until some sunuvabitch gets you from behind.

Na, Chill. It's gonna be okay, kay?
I trust you completely that you will survive this.


Losing the battle for power

22nd Oct

Y'know, love sucks.
It sucks even more, when everyone around you can't give you a straight answer.

I'll always be a painting on a wall,
abandoned, unnoticed,
What once people flocked to see,
yet now just looks down,
for there is no more hope in looking up; just a plaster ceiling.

I'll always be no more than a stain on the table,
what at first shook panic,
caused hysteria,
now just another 'funny story' to reminisce on a rainy day,
in a land where the sun always shines.

When you are next to me,
I amazed you never hear it,
the beacon; yelling profoundly,
like a drowning man for land,
or one who falls; he fears it.

To me you are not just a painting,
you are the grand Mona Lisa herself dressed in a golden frame,
You are not a stain,
but a regal watermark; to bring glory to one's name,
and you are important to me, like an umbrella in the rain, or shade in sunshine.

Yet somehow you bring a special warmth on those rainy days,
In quiet admiration,
you and I; I see a spark,
but it's only between us,
for what uproar would it bring,
for the Mona Lisa to be seen with a mere painting.

Losing the battle for power

Oct 22

Dammit, being at home sucks. Bad enough I'm STUDYING (oh noez!)
made even worse by the fact I miss my not-girlfriend.
Let's be positive here, what's the worse that could happen?
.......
I'm not even gonna go there, dude.

Losing the battle for power

The heat, driving us to insanity,
it was as if hell had been brought to us,
And yet those with faith looked on,
yelling: The storm is coming!

I looked on,
The winds howled like the obedient wolves,
The sky itself growled,
and yet all that came,
was a drizzle






Losing the battle for power

19th Oct

Before I begin with this edition of my writing, Happy birthday Charz, Chang and Zarissya, the three of you guys rock out loud :D

Okay, so there are several things to touch on. Firstly, I have a new project I should (hopefully) finish by the end of the week, a (hopefully) mini-series called Ackar's Journey. It should be about 3 parts long, with minimal dialog (a Poisonblue trait).

sorry it's so tiny >.<
Will try to make it bigger. Eventually.

Either ways, I miss you..

Losing the battle for power

Apologia.

If you are reading this, I doubt in my condition. Be it dead or in an asylum, unless I have the strength to pull through. Will ponder said decision further.

Bonds. Ties. Everything.
All so very important. Apparently. I've never felt too attached to anything living as of late. A few jerks of emotion, that's it.

Something about you saying goodbye, something about the thought of never having you at my side, that's just unbearable.

Rain. Tapping. Pouring. Relentlessly, it comes. Wonder how it feels like, to just go on ahead with something. Around us, so many live with one purpose.

Listen, I will cut the poetic crap now.
You, you really are my everything. If it sounded like I lost faith in you, I'm sorry. But what are we fighting over?

There's no prize. Nothing.

It's pointless telling you over and over again, i'm sorry. I will redeem myself, in any means necessary. I have no excuse for myself.

but I love you. I don't like it when I hurt you. It drives me into such furiosity I begin looking at knives and windowsills.

You made me feel like I existed, Na. When everyone else ignored me, you treated me like a person. You gave me pet nicknames that usually only existed in intimate relationships. You kept me in place when i'd felt like I'd lost myself.
Being with you is like bliss. It's greater than bliss. It stopped me from cutting the line like I should have so long ago.

After so long, I truly feel sadness.
How the violins cry,
and the lack of the stars in the sky.

I truly feel what it's like,
the world you completed, in shreds,
my life you gave meaning, a void.

When the depths alight with the flood of sorrow,
nothing. There is no tomorrow.
And for the first time in years, I start to tear,
Why? why won't you come back here?


From the journal of W. Amirul Adlan: Given up.