2/11/10

So, today draws Achievement Week to an end.

What was achievement week? it was this random event Chang and I had. There was a set of achievements for us to accomplish (unfortunately, Dush and Maxim didnt finish theirs)

So, the first one:

In the mornings, it's always a waste of time sitting and waiting for the teacher to come. So, Chang always has this habit of sneaking off to go chill upstairs first. The only problem is, i'm a little paranoid at it. So, the point of this achievement was to successfully sneak upstairs 3 times without me being left behind. this was just accomplised this morning, when we made a mad dash for it.

My achievement:

SNSD reference. In conjunction with the [awesome] new mv, I had to hoot in front of 3 teachers. Like the fanboy I am.

Easy enough, got it done.

The purpose of this activity? no idea.

It's just how I roll

1/11/10: Goal Update.

OMG. SPM coming up. DIEEE.

Anyways, I've learnt that Hoot is many a cure for a bad day. Seriously.

I don't know, ever since I was hit by the reality that SPM is 22 days away, I started getting annoyed more easily. And depressed.

Sometimes, I just wanna pull you aside and demand we talk about it. I liked how close we were. I like how close we COULD be. But it's like you're making the effort to keep me away.

Goal status:

1) I will inspire at least one person [√]
2) I will fall in love
3) I will successfully get through my god-damned-exams
4) I will learn to fucking drive
5) At least one person will say 'it's not the same without Amirul' and mean it
6) I will make a difference [√]
7) I Will Accomplish all goals by the end of the year

2 down, 5 to go.

It's just how I roll

27/10/10

And as I clambered down the pit, I looked around me.

The skies, in cinders filled, choked my lungs as my descent met their rise.

The beast was upon me now. For so long, I had sat and waited, I had dared to dream of what would happen when it was over.

Already I could see clean sunlight behind the creature.

But the girth of this creature deceived my eyes,.

For it was a good long way away from me, and the sweet sunshine.

I looked down. My descent should near its end, and the searing heat of the charred floor would be all that greeted me.

For after this was done, only one of us would have seen the sky that day, the other locked in a room of trophies.

I thought of everything I had passed to get here, every serpent, every fiery pit.

Licking my lips, I could feel the thirst inside me build up.

It was a few days walk from here. But I promise you, I will get there.

It's just how I roll

22/10/10

It would be nice to have someone know everything about me. And then find it the most attractive thing ever at how much effort I can put.

Realistically speaking, things are back to abnormal in my world. my set of rules seems to govern a lot of things. Perhaps, when conditions are more favorable, we can give this another go. Until then, I really should get some sleep. Supposed to study tomorrow.

It's just how I roll

16/10/10

Fate is a cruel thing. I'm not even going to bother saying it, but it's annoying.

I mean, you find someone just like you, and she has to leave. :/

I guess this is going to be a toss from scratch.

I know I can say alot of things, but I must seriously admit

I will miss you. I mean, you're every person I hoped to find.

And you're leaving.

Bravo, you really know how to pick 'em.

In other news, I recently started looking at things optimistically.

After all, as crappily as my romantic situation is right now, I'm still going to get a new start next year. I guess I can look to that.

But I find this whole leaving issue tampering with my thought cycles. Perhaps I just need to find my center again.

It's just how I roll

15/10/10

I like you.

It's strange to say, and it's probably going to be my downfall. But yeah.

I don't know how to explain it.

I am a megalomanic, cynical and to some, even scary person. Yet somehow, I feel a little more optimistic around you. I like being around you. Somehow, it makes me feel that I'm not the only person in the world with a biased view of the world.

And although I am probably sure you don't entirely approve of my methods in getting what I want (that is, elaborate schemes) I think it's worth a shot. Thank god, you're never gonna read this.

And if you like me too, I'd like you even more :D

That aside, sometimes I wonder if my insecurities are in my head. That chest-tearing nervousness in approaching you, before I can talk to you, that makes me just run away.

It's just how I roll

14/10/10

Often, a big step sends a shockwave, that makes it all the harder to stand, let alone walk.

What is the reaction of the man who looks in the mirror for the first time? Who is he looking at, that has taken such an interest in him?

I took a very big step recently, coming face-to-face with a problem. And all that I've learned from it is chronology sucks. Screw the 4th dimension.

I guess I'm just down that I officially sealed the door of me getting a date to prom. In a way, I faced a problem and wouldn't let it get the better of me. It sounds childish, yes, I'm currently no better than the juniors, but it was just something that mattered, y'know?

I mean, I always pictured this amazing way to end 5 years of nothing but constant change. And as great as it is to be spending it with my bros, the thought of it turning out like IU scares me.

Only good news is I won't have any juniors to babysit.

I guess I was asking for it. I tried skipping a step ahead hoping that the laws of induction would kick in.

Even if you're not coming with me, I'm gonna win you over.

It's just how I roll