28th September: Empty shadows, insecurities, the like.

pfft.

no response? good.

Let's face facts.
I don't take your breath away
I don't make your heart race
I don't create grand gestures
Hell, I don't even get you WMDs.
I don't make you grin like a lunatic
I don't charm you in any way
I don't in any way make time stand still around you.

Let's face it, my touch doesn't make you shiver.
I don't in any way make you feel like you're the only person in the world.

When it comes to other people, it's like the world is covered in deep fog, I am just a shadow flitting in the mist. People walk by, even through me.

Nothing really matters in the end, I guess.
Losing the battle for power

27th Sept; part 3

Wow, what an eventful day.

How long will I keep this charade up?
He's crazy for her, she's crazy for him,
fuck this, I'm going skydiving.

My hand are shakin
From carryin this torch
From carryin this torch for you
- Sondre Lerche, my hands are shakin.

I know the common thing to say is "MOVE ON FUCKTARD"
that's probably true.
But almost everyone around me is shallow, decadent, pretentious.

Just don't see it anymore.
Maybe this is how my life will play,
a game of tag; chasing you like night and day.

I won't ever pretend to know.
Until then, I shall flicker in and out of existence,
I shall stand on the line between life and death, and wait for a breeze to come and blow me one way
Losing the battle for power

27th sept, part 2

Apologies for the really short post. Was distracted by futile hopes and meaningless dreams.
Now that your host is back to surreal not-too-normal self, back to the monologues.

Honestly, I think everything I do is for nought.
'happy returns'. pfft. my ass.
I mean, seriously. Everyone around me. EVERY FUCKING ONE.
okay, that's a little overboard, deep breaths, happy place.

I dunno, k? It's just...
I understand the situation completely. It can't happen.
But what if I want it to that badly?

Would reality and fate unwind just a little to let me through?
pfft, you wish.

Let's slam it down on the cold and grey here:
It's not gonna happen, with her or ANY other carbon-based lifeform, for that matter.
I exist outside the system. Miracles don't exist in my world.
As long as I am in my horrid loop, they never will.



Losing the battle for power

27th September

Ha, so long since I've had an update.
How to say this, I think I really need to get laid.


Fighting the battle for power

25th July

Well, it's that time again.
The time where you've got alot on your mind and no one gives a fuck enough to listen out.

Funny, huh?
If they say life's a wheel, then that's one fuckin' huge wheel and one fuckin' slow motor.
I've seen galapagos turtles die of old age faster.

To constantly be weighed down listening to others, yet when you're bothered, they immediately go, "so?"

Not to say I don't wanna hear your problems, just sayin, mind givin me a listen for a change?

I swear, I hate being alone.
No one to lean on when i'm depressed,
no one to say, "hey, you can't make an omelet without breakin' a few eggs, y'know?"
no one to have faith in me when I myself don't.

spending the night of big parties in a quiet room, looking through the shadows of my past.
I mean, my self esteem is pretty dented as it is. Sucks not being, "mr attractive" or even "mr funny".

Sucks even more watching people LIVING LIFE while I waste it entirely, seriously.
I miss the warmth of a hug,
the sweetness of a stolen kiss,
hell, I miss a sincere "good morning" for fuck's sake.

Now, I'm either just a fuckin feeling atm, or a shadow on the bathroom wall people talk to but never really acknowledge.

Or let's just face it.

In the face of ultimate defeat, everyone goes a little insane

Fighting the battle for power

I hate you, and you, and you, not you, though, I LOATHE you.

For therapeutic reasons, I shall not monolouge this time. Instead, this shall simply be a list on all the things I hate. So this is my post, of hate.

Wan Amirul Hates...
Not doing well in school
Studying
Not being understood
Being shunned
being assumed to be something
forgetting what he wanted to do
failed plans
not doing plans
work
being alone
All of the people I am not at liberty to mention
Never being able to get what I want
Pretentious people
Unrealistic people
Being confined
Being bored
feeling left out
having to write something out
it when his pens run out of ink simultaneously
it when his brother finishes his food
it when he isn't able to do what he wants
materialism
capitalism
a force of power I am not at liberty to discuss
waiting
being helpless
reality
'Microphone wave in failure'
mortality
immortality
lack of respect
form 1s. Spare a select few
Mixed signals
being taken for a ride
ungrateful asses
being treated like an object
forgetting
time limits
greed
being showed up
you
you
you

Seeing that I'm the only one alone
the truth
liars
theives
rempits
smokers
drug addicts
discriminating fucktards
School.



Fighting the battle for power

23rd June

What a lively month. So many posts. I remember I had something cheery to write this morning, but I shall try my hardest to retain that spirit before I remember the REASON I made a blog called 3/4 glass empty.

Pfft, democracy my ass.
Pardon that. Just needed to let something out. Well, today was farely reasonably not too much but what the fuck anyways okay.

So many frustrations in life, no?
There's losing.
There's winning and not knowing what to do anymore
there's not being INVOLVED
and then there's it.

That burning feeling when something you want is within your grasp, and then jumps every step you take an inch further.
Don't bother explaining the physics to me and how I'll eventually get it, I know that.

Gahh, I wanna watch Transformers 2 BADLYYYY.
Wow, this post almost makes me seem normal.
It seems I have a habit of making boyfriends uneasy. How deliberately awesome.

I shall have fun with this.

Fighting the battle for power