Overdue gratitude

Yesterday, I recieved shocking news that one of my old teachers had moved on. May his soul rest in peace, and my prayers are with his family and friends.

I can honestly admit, I didn't know the last time I saw you, you would just be poking over the balcony. I can still remember the classes you taught us in std 4, science and Bm. How you paraded a goat around the school.

I just wanna let it out that any curses I made back then, I don't mean them. Maybe then I did, but I hope they had nothing to do with what happened to your.

The truth is, you were my teacher. My mentor. You were there at such a raw age of my life, that I owe alot of who I am to you. You may have treated me rough, but you also showed amazing compassion. I'm sorry I couldn't have been there for you.

Another teacher I guess I should pay tribute to has passed on for quite a while. I guess I never really said anything, but while my belly's exposed, I may as well let it out.
I'll admit, you got on my nerves several times.
not the nicest thing to say, but I'm being honest. You were an amazing teacher. I can still remember how you taught us that life is what you make of it. Your lessons were never forgotten, sir. I still remember your little success tips and assignments.

Both of you, if you can read this, or if you can see into my heart right now, I want you to know I'm glad you are all at peace and that I want you to know I'll always carry your life lessons with me.
"Live your life as a traveller"

It's not just teachers, I guess, who deserve to know my deep-thoughts.
I can still remember, back when I was four, what was then and until today still is the most devastating event to happen to me.
My aunt passed away. That was my first encounter with death. I still remember crying every time I thought of it. today, I can still say that hasn't changed. I just want to let you know i'm sorry I never got to know you better. The little I know of you was mostly the time we spent together, and I don't have much of your imparted wisdom today with me.
I can still remember my other aunt telling me once, how proud of me you'd be and to always keep you in my heart. I can honestly say I will keep to that. And one day I'll have the strength to find out what took you away from me.

My last, but not least, of farewells is to my late friend, another lost oppurtunity to get to know someone. Again, I am sorry I never got to know you better, even though at times you did me. You were always in a glass 3/4 full, I guess in contrast to me. Even now, the only words I have to remember you by are a prime example of it.

I guess deep down, everyone's a teacher. Everyone leaves impressions on each other. Some fade, some stay. those of you still with me today, I want you to know how much I really care for you.
I guess in pursuit of one thing, you lose yourself. But in losing yourself, you find yourself too.

Before I step into the abyss where I will undoubtedly lose myself, I think I should just say my goodbyes first

Confronting my innermost thoughts