Why do we do it?
we move along among others, pretending like we belong.
we are like shadows on the wall.
We only see things come together, no one sees the real distance.
we are in the mist, everyone is just passing by.
Who are we? Me.
Sorry, my poetic centre isn't working. I knew I'd be bummed about Yan leaving, but this is pushing it. I've been in a rather foul mood, and the fact no one in my household seems to even bother listening to me makes it worse.
I know, the world doesn't revolve around me. But it seems that the year is just gonna start with abandonment issues for me. Yan's left for the UK, Chang leaves for NS on the 2nd, Melor leaves for college soon after.
When I saw her today, I just couldn't help but feel... empty. I mean, I know there was some distance between us as of late, but she was, in a way, one of the people who was there for me. We could talk about video games, movies, drawings (although I am never gonna be as pro as her) and even be sick, I haven't met anyone like that in a while. Someone who could hit me back with the same stuff.
I don't understand why I'm so emotional about this. I'm used to resets. I'm on top of things. I can be moved location-to-location.
She put up with so much of my crap, I can't believe she did all that without ever submitting and telling me her problems.
And the punchline? my big plan for her farewell couldn't have failed harder. Didn't get the presents, the party or the shirt. Hopefully, a day with the guys tomorrow will keep my mind off things.
It's just how I roll
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