Valentine's Special: I'll have salt with a pinch of fries please?

That's right, people, it's that time of year again!

All the so-called 'rehabilitated' emos look at their razorblades again and all those two-headed things flood our facebooks, twitterfeeds and sometimes our field of vision with all things nauseous, puke-inducing all in the name of some florist who needed extra income.

'But Amirul', I hear you say. 'You are one of said emos'.

nonono, I'm not. the difference is, I KNOW I'm alone. I LEARNT my lesson and although innocent people WILL die if I'm forced to watch mushy-couple-time again, that puts me just a few notches above the rest of you losers.

So, let's list out a list of things that are annoying on this retail rip-off that everyone makes such a deal of:

-The news. Seriously? it's the same shit every year. 2 weeks before the big day, someone will say it should be banned, and there will be a big huzzah about it, then it disappears. If you seriously cared about it and our 'integrity', you'd continuously fight for it. Instead it's a cry for attention.

-The whiners. 'my boyfriend says he's not gonna do anything/ Why am I all alone?' Let's start with the latter of the two. You carry yourself broadcasting 'hey, i'm depressed. LOVE ME'. I don't know who you're into, but trust me, the instinct upon seeing an injured race horse is to shoot it. Not make love to it. I shit you not. Give someone a REASON to love you, then they'll start considering it.

As for the former: FUCK YOU. it's a stupid day. one out of 365.25 per annual cycle. I can make up random holidays to celebrate too! MM, Valenswines day! I'll give you a pig if I think you're fat day! or toss an emo into a turbine day! seriously. If you're gonna CHOOSE what days they can say 'I love you', you may as well strap a tape recorder to a vibrator. Aside from the fact it lacks a wallet, it's pretty much what your boyfriend is now. Besides, he's probably only gonna say that because he's secretly planning to stop by with a) flowers, b) the sistine chapel or c) flowers arranged into the shape of the sistine chapel.

-The overgushers. THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE, DIDN'T YOU? sadly to say, no. you aren't. Seriously, if you wanna make so big a deal out of this stupid commercial rip-off and actually BELIEVE it's a day about true love, then why blurt it out to the whole damn world? I mean, SHUT UP, for cryin' out loud. If you 'loveeeee' him so much, shouldn't you be telling that to him IN PERSON? I mean, shouldn't it be a day about proving it to the other person? If you guys are gonna duke it out with other couples over who can make me puke hardest, it should be to the death. I'd like that.

I think that should sum it up. These rants keep me so damn jolly all the time, after all. Enjoy your day.

It's just how I roll