18/7/11

Formal letter of complaint to the Universe:

You suck. Really, you do. I would like to list the reasons why:

Firstly, You never fail to come up with creative new ways to mess with my head. You promise me so much, but it never comes true, does it? No one bothers listening to me even if I had a fucking halo and had my wrists nailed to a fucking cross. Nope. At this rate. I should just carry a fucking baseball bat to hit every thing wrong you're about to throw at me.

Secondly, it's bad enough I lead this shit trail, but you make me go through it alone. Nope, I'm not allowed to have friends. Or companions. Or even mindless pawns. Even if I built them, they'd hate me. And you know, making me rub off as uncharismatic and consistently look like I was gonna kill a motherfucker wasn't enough, you had to go and give me this prison in my own head that destroys all friendships and generally any hope of me breaking the loop.

the girls. OH YES, the girls. Thank you, dear universe, for making me the one man magnetically repellant to all XXs. Yes. Not only do they not WANT to be around me, even if they tried getting within 5 feet range, they get blasted away by magnetic force. thanks. a lot. Is it so much to just make a guy feel a little wanted? At all? AT FUCKING ALL?!

I mean, 4 people in the span of 3 months. That has to be a fucking record or something. And don't give me any crap about "be myself" because I TRIED that. Hell, I think this is your way of making me off myself so there's no possible way you could allow me to even get afterlife happiness. Thanks.

Topping it all off, you are very punctual, proactive and even fucking VIGILANT in making sure I REMEMBER all these failures, burnt into the back of my skull and the west wing of my kidneys and that little nook on my gall bladder. Just for fun, eh?

Fuck you.