21/10/11

ouch. Note to self: never rest on the wheel while it's turning. it feels great when you're on top, but sucks on the trip down. fucking physics laws applying to mood metaphors.

I'd say something deep about how I feel, but I wanna go back to tearing life a new one. Since I have no direct rant planned, let's go for the old winging it.

You. Idiot. Okay, sorry for being vague, but I am surrounded by twits. I'm a twit, you're a twit, all twits. But you see, it's like this: Some people are so jobless they'll do ANYTHING to sound important. It's come to my attention that if I say I wanted to make an energy drink named "Boink", it would be banned because a) boink rhymes with oink which is the sound of a pig and it is therefore not halal, b) it was produced by a guy who knowingly named his drink after a rhyme with the onomatopoeia of a pig's snort, and c) someone spread an article saying a poor businessman wanting to make a living could afford drugs to put into said drink to make more money. I mean, seriously. Are you THAT neophobic that you have to question every single thing and make associations to your worst fears?

Which brings me to another point. Another facebook rant. Lately, sharing has gotten more activity. And rather than share something meaningful like, say, something to brighten someone's day when they're depressed and lifeless enough to go on facebook, instead I'm flooded with

a) "love quotes" which are usually the same quote recycled and presented differently

b) CONTROVERSY! SHARE WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS TO WARN THEM THAT DORITOS WILL GIVE YOU PROSTATE CANCER! *grotesque graphic image of dorito filled prostate* or my least favourite,

c) "This man picked up a penny from a sidewalk. TRULY HE IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN AND YOU'RE GOING TO HELL FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"

the first one needs no more ranting. Look, I don't WANT to know any more about how this boy waited for this girl and etc. By right, he shoulda been arrested for stalking the bitch and she's a slut for running between guys. And if people really think this kinda shit happens, then it should happen often enough for it to stop being a hero story. Moving. On.

As for attacking my doritos, fuck you. Even if whatever news you had WAS true, it'd be out in the papers, unless it was still a theory. If it was still a theory, then you are now to blame for unnecessary spread of discord, panic and ruining my appetite. Douche. I mean, it's hard to believe that some buttcrab spent his day googling 'diseased eyes' to photoshop to look worse and spread on fb. I'm not saying it'll never happen, I'm just saying that in a world FULL of lies (I mean, come on. we're talking about the internet here,) I highly doubt a facebook update will change the world. And the ones who immediately go "HEAD FOR THE HILLS, DORITOS WILL KILL US! SO SAYS FACEBOOK!" are a bunch of gullible twits. fo sho.

The last one is sensitive ground. I get your support for a cause, and believe me, I support people standing for something. So consider me a motherfucker on a steamroller who's gonna crush your dreams and piss on your children and you're just gonna have to deal with it. Because seriously, 89% of the people sharing these cause pictures don't care. They're not off in africa saving lives. In fact, here's a glimpse of their heads at the moment, after filtering through a ton of cricket noises and re-runs of abduction:

"Hurr durr. Wh47s dis?"

*checks checklist*

[/] graphic image

[/] deep sounding message

[/] mention of death

*share*

"I are so sm4r7 rite nao."

on another note, sometimes you unnecessarily antagonize good people and worship mediocrity. It's hard to describe, this last criteria, because it STARTS with good intentions, but it grows stale and just becomes another method of attention whoring and being a buzkill for internet time.

I think that's all I got for now. I'll be back.

It's just how I roll