2/1/11

I can straightly say I had a good day today :)

went out for a movie with Ashley and Alex. And I can honestly say that I'm a sucker for hugs. Ash seems to be making a real effort to like the stuff me n Alex like (model-building, video games. If I ACTUALLY got her into starcraft, I think her hotness just escalated 25000%) Seriously, I love how open she is to just sitting around and bitching about stuff. And she's fun to be around. especially when karaoke is involved xP

Chang's been neutralized for the next 2.5 months. I honestly say I'll miss him, he's a good friend. Even though he doesn't share my world views, he knows when a person just wants to vent.

Hann's in the mindfucked slot now. I keep thinking I've pissed her off or something, and it's driving me up the wall. I hope it's all in my head.

It's just how I roll

1/1/11

welcome, orbital cycle 'A.D' 2011.

Sorry i'm posting this late, was busy all night. Making a video with Maxim and Dush (have you checked it out? it's at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azYkdRzOouo )

My memories of the last orbital cycle?

Things that happened in 2010:

-I learned I couldn't fly

-I finally got noticed by others for making movies

-I sat for a nightmarish public exam

-I made guy friends

-I ACTUALLY stayed up for the Fifa World Cup

-I learned that sometimes, we just need to remember why we're awesome and the emo just disappears

-I fell head-over-heels in love with SNSD (and learnt all their names)

-I got a PS3

-Nope, still single.

-I learned to hate myself a little less

-I got to spend time with awesome people (Shiv, Yan, Alia, Melor and Manisha to name a few)

-I started meeting new people

But all in all, I don't think I have a theme that this year ran along. other than possibly just challenges.

hopefully 2011 brings a little more sunshine into my grey little corner of the world.

It's just how I roll

30/12/10

Why do we do it?

we move along among others, pretending like we belong.

we are like shadows on the wall.

We only see things come together, no one sees the real distance.

we are in the mist, everyone is just passing by.

Who are we? Me.

Sorry, my poetic centre isn't working. I knew I'd be bummed about Yan leaving, but this is pushing it. I've been in a rather foul mood, and the fact no one in my household seems to even bother listening to me makes it worse.

I know, the world doesn't revolve around me. But it seems that the year is just gonna start with abandonment issues for me. Yan's left for the UK, Chang leaves for NS on the 2nd, Melor leaves for college soon after.

When I saw her today, I just couldn't help but feel... empty. I mean, I know there was some distance between us as of late, but she was, in a way, one of the people who was there for me. We could talk about video games, movies, drawings (although I am never gonna be as pro as her) and even be sick, I haven't met anyone like that in a while. Someone who could hit me back with the same stuff.

I don't understand why I'm so emotional about this. I'm used to resets. I'm on top of things. I can be moved location-to-location.

She put up with so much of my crap, I can't believe she did all that without ever submitting and telling me her problems.

And the punchline? my big plan for her farewell couldn't have failed harder. Didn't get the presents, the party or the shirt. Hopefully, a day with the guys tomorrow will keep my mind off things.

It's just how I roll

29/12/10

Straight off the bat: Tron: Legacy has one of the most epic soundtracks ever. Daft Punk was an AWESOME choice for it (and everyone on the Grid looks like they're auditioning for a third member of daft punk anyways)

came back from penang and had my 1v1 against darren with Alvin spectating. Sure, I lost but I learnt some new things.

Alvin says I'm too passive. I need to be on the offensive and so I'm thinking a heavier baneling push. Until I can get the speedlings out.

Supposed to be at the airport to say bye to yan tomorrow. Really am gonna miss her. We had one of our bioshock chats just now and it made me realise it was all in my head.

new year's coming up, my big plan failed. Oh well, loads more where they came from.

It's just how I roll

28/12/10

I can safely say my self esteem returned today, if only for a short while.

Saw a hot chic at breakfast, beat myself when I couldn't get to talk to her. But apparently fate works in mysterious ways.

Saw her again. wait for it. in a super skimpy bikini. wait for it. talked to her, too.

Even though I epic failed (she was 23, vietnamese and I probably scared the crap outta her) the fact I mustered up the courage to talk to her and not die when I realised what was going on was a BIG boost to the self-esteem.

It's the little things like this that will bring me closer to you.

It's just how I roll

27/12/10

WHYYYYY

Internet dropped me from my starcraft game. Was almost certain my new build would work this time. fuck.

Muta's are fast growing to be my fav unit (sorry brood lords). They're fast, deadly and (relatively) cheap.

Been taking time to prod Chang's life a bit. Even though he doesn't know, my meddling may be for the better. Shush now.

Ignoring your refusal to accept my existence, never mind it. I'm still saying goodbye. I owe you that much.

I don't know, life is full of disappointments lately. Prom was one (although proving that you can have fun without a date was awesome), the fact that everyone was making out or slowdancing was kind of frustrating. This holiday isn't what I'd call brilliant (although thank god I have internet, even if it's slow)

Maxim went and stirred up an issue best left unstirred.

I'm all alone.

bleugh

It's just how I roll

21/12/10

It's bad enough I actually liked you for a while. It's even worse you won't be here any more. The punchline? The fact I'm being shut out before all of this boils down. I'm just lost.

It's almost like I never existed. Or that I'm just some scrap metal on the side of the street.

I'm not holding anything against you, I figured my personality needs some re-adjusting anyways.

But it just stings that I can be so easily ejected out of people's lives. oh well, like I said. Being a loner means just that. No attachments. a background on the nickelodeon.

Signed up for college today, no comment on that. Other than stupid chlamydia sp jokes.

Lost 2/2 against chang on starcraft. He's learned not to put his money on photo cannons, and prefers warp gates because of the superior warp time. I could probably kill him if he didn't have archons (and their stupid bonus against zerg units) .

So here's my plan. It took some digging, but I'll do it. The oldest trick in the book:

wait for it

The 6Pool. if I can overwhelm him before his gateways come up, I can slow down his economy just long enough to power a full assault. Fingers (and Zerglings) crossed.

May have found a mentor. Hurm.

It's just how I roll