I was thinking I'd use my funk to write more poetry, but i'm a little too dead for that.
I should be getting to work, too. Gah.
Since I'm already here, I should just spill what's on my mind.
I'm scared. I really don't want to fail anything this sem. The sem apparently has other things in store, by making me paint every chance I get.
I'm also scared of people leaving. I don't know why, but I've always had these abandonment issues. I guess that's why I make a big deal out of unkept promises and stuff. And I see so many possibilities for friendships to fall apart, I guess I'm scared of that.
I've drained myself of anger for the time being, so yeah. all that's left is just a puddle of sadness. I won't pretend you never happened, but I can't keep remembering all those hopes and dreams and be okay that they never happened.
As for Alice, I can't keep lying to myself. there is nothing there. Just tail chasing and eye candy.
This feels strange.
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