27th Jan

I've always wondered, how does it feel to actually be missed? to be wanted?
Just a passing thought, I am not lapsing into emoness.

Losing the battle for power

26th Jan

I don't get the irony of life.
You are dangled in front of me constantly.

Dammit. Btw, I am loving the chaos.
This is Wan Amirul, emo-sober for 2 days

Even if i'm not in charge, you dudes have my full support.

MOVE LIKE YOU'VE GOT A PURPOS
Losing the battle for power

22nd Jan

The cruel irony.
My voice echoes through the hollow wood
my feet tread the cold dirt as the world turns beneath me
the rain falls, and your warmth is not here.

I freaking hate the loneliness.



Losing the battle for power

21st Jan

...wait. What?
no poetic rant?
what's wrong with me?

EDIT: Nevermind, got my groove back.

Have you ever looked at a portrait, and just went 'wow, that's perfect'

And while you were taking a step back to admire it, fell off the platform?

that crushing revelation, the cruel truth.

Maybe the world is better off without me.

Losing the battle for power

20th January

"So how did you catch that jewel thief in the end?"
"Simple. we burned down the whole forest"
-Bruce and Alfred, The Dark Knight

Oh yeah, it's gonna bite me in the ass, I can tell.
Losing the battle for power

19th Jan

It seems so horrible, to be missing a piece.
It seems even worse, walking around, seeing nothing but god-damned-reminders everywhere you go.
In all seriousness, I need a hug.

In other news, since it's easier to find yourself when you set goals, here are mine:
1) I will inspire at least one person
2) I will fall in love
3) I will successfully get through my god-damned-exams
4) I will learn to fucking drive
5) At least one person will say 'it's not the same without Amirul' and mean it
6) I will make a difference
7) I Will Accomplish all goals by the end of the year
Losing the battle for power

18th Jan

hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
I hate that even my home isn't sanctuary
I hate the rippling loneliness, growing bigger with time.

I'm not good enough to be a person.
My presence is never celebrated,
Hell, I'm not even worth remembering.

I never am.
I never will be.

"I'm the invisible man, who can't stop staring at the mirror"
Losing the battle for power

16th Jan

To all people who answered my question below, thanks. To all people who are wondering what the fuck i'm talking about, it's in the post below.

Something I worked on in Cambodia:

Is it normal to miss you?
Because I do
I miss how your fingers gently danced upon mine,
and to everyone's protest; you would gently smile

Is it normal to want you?
Want you like I do
Wanting you until not even another's love could be returned
and all the daffodils sway in the midnight sun

Is it normal to love you?
To be entranced by your every moment
until all who wish it get a hollow shell,
and all who think they have it drown in doubt.

It's not normal; it's me.
And it's become so clear to see.
But I'll leave for now; and if I come back,
I'll be here always; and you'll see; we're meant to be



Losing the battle for power

When it comes down to the world, who am I?

I've heard the saying, "Just be who you are" and other phrases of the same meaning said alot recently.
to the reader: comment on this post. Answer me this vital question: who am I?

Losing the battle for power

16th Jan

Is it so wrong to actually give a fuck?
Yes, victory takes sacrifice. Yes, discipline is important.
But victory can be obtained and discipline can be maintained without being a harsh bully, thank you very much.
Take. A. Chill. Pill. Seriously, you told me you were against that kind of treatment. Well, when the eyes of the world probe you, I guess you really know how to show your true colours, eh, buddy boy?

And your 'help' is nothing more than a crack-pumped junkie trying to look like Rambo with love handles. If you want to waste what precious time you have letting a Biggest Loser drop-out
give 'pep-talks' that are basically half-hour swear sessions, then I think your leadership is seriously misplaced.

Too many cooks spoil the broth. And when 3 cooks can't decide on how to SPELL the freaking word, then you know something's up.

Teamwork, it's a new thing. try it.

On a final note: Stick to your word. If you promise people that you treat them nicely, stick to it. Karma's a dog, and I have a habit of letting it off the leash.

Losing the battle for power

14th Jan

Resonance: when two objects vibrate at the same frequency, causing the intensity of vibrations to get higher, and objects like mirrors to crack.

Seriously, it's maddening that way. I'll see what you make of that.



Losing the battle for power

13th Jan

Urk. 'Intervention'
Why is it I wish there was some intervention to stop the oncoming Intervention?

Pull it together, Amirul. 10 months, 9 days.

MOVE LIKE YOU'VE GOT A PURPosE

I am Wan Amirul, and I support the red + White. I just wish it'd be a little less taxing.

Anyone, I need a hug :S

Losing the battle for power

11th Jan

I don't understand you.
I tried being normal, being human.
I understand you being afraid out of lack of understanding, but to actively resent me?

You're no Gandhi to me either, but I have respect enough to at least acknowledge your existence.

But then again, thanks for proving my point.
"All these liberals, and intellectuals will gaze into the abyss, and all of a sudden no one could think of anything to say"

9th Jan

It's sad, being isolated in every sense of the word.
It's frustrated, knowing you are isolated in every sense of the word.
People actively stay AWAY from you, some even fear you.

It takes you back to the question, Are you afraid of the dark?
Yet, there are a few, god bless their souls, who are odd enough to aproach the social reject. Make him feel...normal.
Some even teach him to pretend to be normal in hopes he will wonday be normal.

I can't be what you want me to be, I can't do what you want me to do. Underneath it all, I am me.

And still the question presides,
who am I?

Losing the battle for power

Social Responsibilities

My bid for the environment, with all this depressing news around.

Our Father made us, of earth and blood and flesh.
Our Mother fed us, kept us warm.
She taught us to see, with our eyes and our hearts
In exchange that we feel, with our hearts and our souls.

Now as we move on, our mother we have forgotten,
Our brothers, who stay with her, we call savages,
but we ravage her, destroy her neatly woven,
Answer to Father: Who is man, who is beast?

Our brothers walk with their bellies to mother,
She is sick, and they hear her. She is crying;
but we do not hear her, through rock; and metal; and stone.
But when Father reclaims what is His, let our brothers be saved, we must follow the fate we have allowed for our mother.
_____________________________________________________
My comment on the events occuring today:
This was not Islam. Islam has always stressed that we are all brothers, and we do not commit such heinous acts. In my humble opinion, and let me be slain for it, these acts of violence were media-inspired, from the justifying leaders to the heretics.
Look around, we've got a world to change.

7th January

To succeed, we choose singular goals. One straight path, through the confines of 'the box' and existence itself.

But in a rabid pursuit of our goals, we lose ourself. In losing ourselves, we forget why we even got on the road in the first place.

In all that uncertainty, we find that the only reason we were on that road was to find ourselves.

In losing ourselves, we find more and more of ourselves than previously existed.

Go through the looking glass, don't just look at it.

Losing the battle for power

5th January

It's very, very annoying.
I've always wondered; after the villain has lost,
what does he do when he's kept alive?

living in the shadow of failure...

Losing the battle for power

4th Jan: Welcome to the Inferno

At the midpoint of life, I found myself in a horrid institution
And through this way, a sane soul never passes.
I lifted my burden, as most people do there,
and on the gates;
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter"

Okay, lame plaguirism of Dante.

But seriously, welcome to the inferno.
Between all the usual shit of being a teenager, we have one extra demon to put up with, and it's called S-P-Freaking-M.

Oh well. Let's roll.

Losing the battle for power