31/10/11

You know, lately, the term "manning up" has become really subjective. I mean, way back in the good old days, manning up meant only one thing: Mindless pounding; be it a mountain, a dragon, some man hitting on your woman, some man screwing your woman, or your woman (in all sense of bow chicking her bow wow).

That was it. Manning up just meant numbing your remaining brain cells, clenching your fists and doing the most primitive thing that makes it into your mind within 10 seconds (because you'd only have 10 fingers to count with). This was man at its primitive glory, folks. I mean,; come on, we have BOXING, for crying out loud. Back then no one thought of DUCKING, it was just "punch. no die? punch again. Loop"

Today, manning up could mean ANYTHING. It could mean walking away from a fight, it could mean skipping the quadruple-double McSteak-and-bucket-of-grease-wich-with-beef-buns. It could mean getting your wife flowers when she's mad at you or NOT getting her flowers, letting her be mad and cooling off instead. Worse; manning up nowadays could actually mean, god forbid, TALKING THINGS OUT.

Honestly? blame the women.

WAIT.

Before you pelt me in pitchforks tipped with grizzly bears and chainsaws, I don't mean this in a bad way. I mean; let's face it; I don't wake up in the mornings and swan dive off a waterfall of Old Spice and brush my teeth with a freshly ripped vertebrae of a caribou. Count 'em, I know words more than 3 syllables long. Some.

Where was I?

right. Modern man is raised by his mother. and when someone with brains is in charge of explaining the world to a highly impressionable kid, his vision of the world WILL change, regardless of how well caribou-spine prevents tooth decay. This generation of momma's boys have F1, which is so brain intensive that it's a sport that STILL causes physical harm even though you spend the entire sport sitting down.

I'm rambling, so I'll state my argument now: Being a Man now is different from being a man then. To enforce this, i'll provide several scenarios.

Back then, it was perfectly cool that Captain America punched Adolf in the jaw. THAT was a hero. BIFF! BAM! POW!. We had the DOOM GUY, people. 7 (or 9, if you wanna get technical) weapons that run on TESTOSTERONE. Arnold Schwartzenegger was TERMINATOR. T-Rex stood up straight and Pluto was a planet because SOMEONE had to emphasize the hugeness of Jupiter. When a guy comes near your woman, they put a vacancy sign on their ass, and your foot is looking for a place to stay.

Got that? Because now, nothing gets accomplished until there is DELIBERATION. We have Portal. We have TOOLS. Arnold Schwartzenegger was GOVERNOR. T-Rex laid low and might have been a scavenger. Pluto's not a planet. You use mind tricks to protect your woman (and god forbid, meaningful conversation)

The old Man sees things in binary. black and white. Today, there are so many sides to the story, by the time you actually get to the decision-making, you're too exhausted to do anything. The death of Duke Nukem and rebirth of Stephen Hawking.

Even "fight" has lost it's meaning. Say "Fight" to the old man and you'd be painted a picture of eagles, chainsaws, katanas, and maybe even a jack-hammer/Platypus hybrid. Now, fighting can be anything, from not eating to standing still.

So when you tell me to man up, fight for what I want, your guess is as good as anyone's as to what i'm supposed to do. Meanwhile, I'm in need of a BFG, some Irn Bru and perhaps looping Revenge of The Fallen over and over again. Clearly, man and thinking were just never meant to be.

It's just how I roll

30/10/11

Oh how the ghost of you lingers.

I honestly hope you don't leave me any time soon. You have brought out the better sides in me, made me want to be a better person, and generally just stuck there to save me from becoming the manic depressive I teeter on the edge of.

And you're gone.

Oh well. There's plenty more going on in the detox of my life, but I hardly doubt it's worth much a mention. just so lazy lately.

It's just how I roll

21/10/11

ouch. Note to self: never rest on the wheel while it's turning. it feels great when you're on top, but sucks on the trip down. fucking physics laws applying to mood metaphors.

I'd say something deep about how I feel, but I wanna go back to tearing life a new one. Since I have no direct rant planned, let's go for the old winging it.

You. Idiot. Okay, sorry for being vague, but I am surrounded by twits. I'm a twit, you're a twit, all twits. But you see, it's like this: Some people are so jobless they'll do ANYTHING to sound important. It's come to my attention that if I say I wanted to make an energy drink named "Boink", it would be banned because a) boink rhymes with oink which is the sound of a pig and it is therefore not halal, b) it was produced by a guy who knowingly named his drink after a rhyme with the onomatopoeia of a pig's snort, and c) someone spread an article saying a poor businessman wanting to make a living could afford drugs to put into said drink to make more money. I mean, seriously. Are you THAT neophobic that you have to question every single thing and make associations to your worst fears?

Which brings me to another point. Another facebook rant. Lately, sharing has gotten more activity. And rather than share something meaningful like, say, something to brighten someone's day when they're depressed and lifeless enough to go on facebook, instead I'm flooded with

a) "love quotes" which are usually the same quote recycled and presented differently

b) CONTROVERSY! SHARE WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS TO WARN THEM THAT DORITOS WILL GIVE YOU PROSTATE CANCER! *grotesque graphic image of dorito filled prostate* or my least favourite,

c) "This man picked up a penny from a sidewalk. TRULY HE IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN AND YOU'RE GOING TO HELL FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"

the first one needs no more ranting. Look, I don't WANT to know any more about how this boy waited for this girl and etc. By right, he shoulda been arrested for stalking the bitch and she's a slut for running between guys. And if people really think this kinda shit happens, then it should happen often enough for it to stop being a hero story. Moving. On.

As for attacking my doritos, fuck you. Even if whatever news you had WAS true, it'd be out in the papers, unless it was still a theory. If it was still a theory, then you are now to blame for unnecessary spread of discord, panic and ruining my appetite. Douche. I mean, it's hard to believe that some buttcrab spent his day googling 'diseased eyes' to photoshop to look worse and spread on fb. I'm not saying it'll never happen, I'm just saying that in a world FULL of lies (I mean, come on. we're talking about the internet here,) I highly doubt a facebook update will change the world. And the ones who immediately go "HEAD FOR THE HILLS, DORITOS WILL KILL US! SO SAYS FACEBOOK!" are a bunch of gullible twits. fo sho.

The last one is sensitive ground. I get your support for a cause, and believe me, I support people standing for something. So consider me a motherfucker on a steamroller who's gonna crush your dreams and piss on your children and you're just gonna have to deal with it. Because seriously, 89% of the people sharing these cause pictures don't care. They're not off in africa saving lives. In fact, here's a glimpse of their heads at the moment, after filtering through a ton of cricket noises and re-runs of abduction:

"Hurr durr. Wh47s dis?"

*checks checklist*

[/] graphic image

[/] deep sounding message

[/] mention of death

*share*

"I are so sm4r7 rite nao."

on another note, sometimes you unnecessarily antagonize good people and worship mediocrity. It's hard to describe, this last criteria, because it STARTS with good intentions, but it grows stale and just becomes another method of attention whoring and being a buzkill for internet time.

I think that's all I got for now. I'll be back.

It's just how I roll

18/10/11: Kpop double whammy

It's not very often I get this: 2 groups I like (within 2 tiers of each other [damn I should really make that chart]) releasing a music video at the same time. So to commemorate this rare occurrence, I shall present to you my two cents on both.

SECRET: Love is Move

Okay, let me first start off by saying I really like Secret because they're the underdogs of k-pop. They haven't quite reached Diva status like 4Minute and SNSD, but they're pretty good.

So once again, Secret presents us with the retro concept. Unlike Shy Boy though, this seems to be... hmm, how do I put this lightly?

SEXIER.

Oh yes. We get to see these girls showing off more dance moves, and putting the cute side gently in a corner. The beat is very reminiscent of beach parties, yet with a nightclub background. It's a very energetic song, and even the dance moves show it off.

And for bonus points, they make Sunhwa the god-damn sexiest girl next door ever. (because that's how she looks to me. in general)

The dance moves , as mentioned earlier, are very energetic and pretty well synchronized. The girls are rarely still for more than a second as they respond to every beat. Everything about this song screams retro. And that's not a bad thing.

SNSD (Girl's Generation): The Boys

there's a little history to be had about this music video. firstly, one of the biggest complaints about SNSD is that their music videos were HIGHLY repetitive and they banked solely on the cute factor to win over their legions of dedicated fans. You wanted different? you got it.

The Boys is a more "urban dance" beat than their other bubblegum pop songs. Their moves are crazily synchronized and the song has an almost military bass to it.

I'll admit, the song on it's own or the choreography on its own are nothing much to scream about. But if we're analyzing the music video, we've got it pretty good. It opens with a minute long clip of the girls all walking out from a dark room. First thoughts would be they look GORGEOUS. second would be the over-emphasis on the dove. but that can be slid.

As mentioned, the music video is presented VERY well. There is this feeling of inherent drama at the beginning that just draws you in. The dance break in the middle is very well done too.

While not as defined a concept as Love is Move, this music video is more entertaining to watch as a video (but then again, Sunhwa ).

Actually, even THAT point is counterpointed. One thing about SNSD is that each of the 9 girls are usually wearing something different, so I can take time to comment there. since 9x3= 27 I'll only be touching on highlights here.

Taeyeon seems to be going for a sort of punk look with a pink streak and pvc boots. I must say I very much like this look, and she is generally very fierce throughout the performance

Out of all her outfits, Jessica seems to look best in the princess regalia, with her blue tube dress and tiara. This particular look really suits her, but her other outfits are good too.

Sooyoung, physically, has always been about her really long legs. With that in mind, her high-waisted outfit with the really pretty blouse serve their function pretty well.

Yoona joins Jessica for looking best in her princess regalia. Something about the outfit just WORKS here.

I'll have to admit, I was really looking forward to Sunny's appearance. her teaser photos were the best, because the short hair was a REALLY drastic change. I was not disappointed here, and her black blouse+shorts+red hoodie are the winning combo here.

Seohyun looks really great in her purple cheongsam-esque dress. From hair to makeup, her closeups have to be the most impressive of the lot.

I'm really tempted to say Hyo's Queen Amidala look is the best of hers, but I won't lie. She shines most in the dance break, with her blue top and black pants.

Yuri looks absolutely gorgeous in the entire video, although I think her princess look is a bit heavy on the makeup. However, her suit and bangs win because a) suits are awesome b) Yuri is awesome and c) bangs are awesome.

Tiffany has the most charisma in the video, and is intent on punishing me for my stupid days when she was at the bottom of my bias list. Before someone misreads it and impales me to death, that didn't last very long. She looks really good in all her outfits, but her dance outfit with the cap is the most impressive.

It's unfair to ask me which I liked better of the two videos, it's like asking me which is better: God of War or DMC? you just can't do that. All in all, SNSD projects a more fierce mood while Secret's is playful but sexy.

Before I forget, anyone with no clue as to what I'm talking about can follow these links:

Secret: http://youtu.be/1Pr3d8AbkGs

SNSD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pA_Tou-DPI

I highly reccomend both videos, do check them out.

It's just how I roll

16/10/11

The universe is a fucked up place.

Technically, it's kinda my fault. In retrospect, I've become one of the more dangerous kinds of cynics: the ones who don't know how they're being destroyed from the inside out.

I mean, I never noticed, but I don't really trust a lot of people. I'm quick to hit the panic button and because of that I guess it seems like I undervalue some people.

I need to fix myself. But the big question is how?

My head is still all over the place. will update when it isn't.

It's just how I roll

8/10/11

So, spent today out with dush, chang and future mrs. chang. could tell you I had a really good time, which I did, but shiv is planning on us re-starting TNT, and I figured I can give reviewing Abduction a whirl.

Now, pardon my any details missing, because a) this movie was so bad I couldn't keep focus on it, and b) it didn't seem to take its own details very seriously. The movie is about a ninja-werewolf (yeah right, I WISH it was that cool) emo teen boy who seems to have gone 4 years just staring at a girl he likes but never talking to her, even though they made out prior.

You see, that's the set up of the movie. By this point I'd run out of snacks and resorted to calling all the movie's fail moments.

So, after getting wasted at a party, his dad's punishment is kicking his ass in boxing. I should note that his dad is possibly the most badass guy on the planet for kicking this guy's ass so badly.

Okay, I know we're not supposed to judge based by the color of a guy's skin, but his parents are as white as white can get. And Taylor Lautner... isn't. I mean, if you wanted to make this movie so REALISTIC and MINDFUCKY you'd at least bring THAT up.

But I'll let that slide.

So we meet his friend, a guy who makes fake IDs and also knows how to operate firearms, named Gilly. In class, he and the girl he likes are paired up for a project on missing persons.

I really wish i'd taken notes during the movie, cus like I said: lots doesn't make sense. Details aside, he's actually being looked for by russians and the CIA, and sigourney weaver. his parents (who aren't his real parents) are killed by a bomb that is NEVER explained as to how it got there because the agents are killed by his NINJA MOM the second they come in (well, not the last one. but he was getting his ass kicked too) and begin road trip across towns within 24 hours.

The timeline really doesn't add up, because somehow he can still call Gilly to get him stuff no matter where he is. Seriously. BS. Also, he's on the run from ARMED agents, and instead of getting his friend with a car, fake IDs AND shooting skills, he sticks to boobs and bigger-than-thou-eyebrows. Guess I get that. If I die, may as well try to get laid first.

It's never explained why his character knows KUNG FU when he's been trained to BOX, but whatever.

Typically, the ending is him saving the day.

I guess if you want a thriller, this would be OK, but really, the plot is just weak. it's purely based on the fame of our werewolf hero, who; might I add; survives A BOMB BLAST. There's even a twilight scene in the movie.

Watch at own risk. 2 out of 5.

It's just how I roll

September recap

Okay, I've abandoned you for a month, cus my dear Jessica has been in the shop for most of september. just got her back today. I'll skip the depressing bits because fuck it, they don't matter.

the oddest thing happened the other day. Because I'm such a masochist, I still think I can help people by giving out advice and cheering up those who need it. So, the other day, I got a thank you. As in, an actual thank you, not the one you say at the end of your sentences so I'll shut up. It's hard to explain, but it felt good.

Also, had a pretty fun outing with Lex and hema last weekend. We watched Fright Night. Oh david tennant, you sexy beast. And They are good company. I don't find that a lot nowadays.

I know I wouldn't mention it, but with so much happening, it's good to have people I can still goof off with. which reminds me, Chang, Dush and I have gone a month without fucking someone's shit up. this cannot go unpunished.

there's my recap. ONWARDS!

It's just how I roll