21/10/11

ouch. Note to self: never rest on the wheel while it's turning. it feels great when you're on top, but sucks on the trip down. fucking physics laws applying to mood metaphors.

I'd say something deep about how I feel, but I wanna go back to tearing life a new one. Since I have no direct rant planned, let's go for the old winging it.

You. Idiot. Okay, sorry for being vague, but I am surrounded by twits. I'm a twit, you're a twit, all twits. But you see, it's like this: Some people are so jobless they'll do ANYTHING to sound important. It's come to my attention that if I say I wanted to make an energy drink named "Boink", it would be banned because a) boink rhymes with oink which is the sound of a pig and it is therefore not halal, b) it was produced by a guy who knowingly named his drink after a rhyme with the onomatopoeia of a pig's snort, and c) someone spread an article saying a poor businessman wanting to make a living could afford drugs to put into said drink to make more money. I mean, seriously. Are you THAT neophobic that you have to question every single thing and make associations to your worst fears?

Which brings me to another point. Another facebook rant. Lately, sharing has gotten more activity. And rather than share something meaningful like, say, something to brighten someone's day when they're depressed and lifeless enough to go on facebook, instead I'm flooded with

a) "love quotes" which are usually the same quote recycled and presented differently

b) CONTROVERSY! SHARE WITH ALL YOUR FRIENDS TO WARN THEM THAT DORITOS WILL GIVE YOU PROSTATE CANCER! *grotesque graphic image of dorito filled prostate* or my least favourite,

c) "This man picked up a penny from a sidewalk. TRULY HE IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN AND YOU'RE GOING TO HELL FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"

the first one needs no more ranting. Look, I don't WANT to know any more about how this boy waited for this girl and etc. By right, he shoulda been arrested for stalking the bitch and she's a slut for running between guys. And if people really think this kinda shit happens, then it should happen often enough for it to stop being a hero story. Moving. On.

As for attacking my doritos, fuck you. Even if whatever news you had WAS true, it'd be out in the papers, unless it was still a theory. If it was still a theory, then you are now to blame for unnecessary spread of discord, panic and ruining my appetite. Douche. I mean, it's hard to believe that some buttcrab spent his day googling 'diseased eyes' to photoshop to look worse and spread on fb. I'm not saying it'll never happen, I'm just saying that in a world FULL of lies (I mean, come on. we're talking about the internet here,) I highly doubt a facebook update will change the world. And the ones who immediately go "HEAD FOR THE HILLS, DORITOS WILL KILL US! SO SAYS FACEBOOK!" are a bunch of gullible twits. fo sho.

The last one is sensitive ground. I get your support for a cause, and believe me, I support people standing for something. So consider me a motherfucker on a steamroller who's gonna crush your dreams and piss on your children and you're just gonna have to deal with it. Because seriously, 89% of the people sharing these cause pictures don't care. They're not off in africa saving lives. In fact, here's a glimpse of their heads at the moment, after filtering through a ton of cricket noises and re-runs of abduction:

"Hurr durr. Wh47s dis?"

*checks checklist*

[/] graphic image

[/] deep sounding message

[/] mention of death

*share*

"I are so sm4r7 rite nao."

on another note, sometimes you unnecessarily antagonize good people and worship mediocrity. It's hard to describe, this last criteria, because it STARTS with good intentions, but it grows stale and just becomes another method of attention whoring and being a buzkill for internet time.

I think that's all I got for now. I'll be back.

It's just how I roll

12/7/11

Well, i've been complaining about a lack of things to hate, so VOILA, MOTHERFUCKERS. thank you for this horrible present which you call modern tv shows.

I don't know why, but I hate them. Most, if not all of what's on tv is crap. And this isn't to say "I want my 90s cartoons back" I don't even need to GO that far. Ben 10 was good. TFA and Teen Titans, Good. JUSTICE LEAGUE: GOOD. And if you wanna be a bitch and tell me I only like shows with continuity, fine. FAIRLY ODD PARENTS AND SPONGEBOB WERE GOOD.

emphasis here would be the word WERE. I don't know how to describe it, but at some point, Nickelodeon and Disney must have sucked the same cock, because the shows nowadays all suck.

I'll try to let this out nicely. Disney is now into stupid anime shit with really crappy animation and a need to be more 'malaysian'. More on that later, the anime shit really pisses me off. But then again, I haven't seen any disney shows lately, so I guess it's time for the malaysian shit.

Now, I've always been biased about malaysian cartoons. They tend to suck, in all honesty. One day, someone creates Upin And Ipin. This full CGI series that shows... malaysian life? sure. whatever. And I guess that's all nice and stuff.

I guess I wouldn't hate it as much if it wasn't always hailed as the greatest thing to come out of malaysia. I mean, I hear it being called the pinnacle of Malaysian animation, and I have to tell you: that's a joke. Seriously. We can do SO MUCH BETTER. Did anyone know about the malaysians working on Transformers?

Okay, that's not fair.

...wait a minute.

YES IT IS. IT'S TOTALLY FAIR. I mean, BEAST WARS looks better than this, and it's almost 20 YEARS OLD. There, was an unfair statement. Beast wars was awesome.

Okay, U/I aside, I'm totally cool with that. that's done. Of course, they had to make another show with super powers and shit and racist stereotypes in the exact same style. But I can't attack that until I've been forced to sit through an episode of that. And after U/I, I'm pretty well fortified.

So now that I am done bashing Disney on the TV front, I shall move on to arch enemy number 2: Nickelodeon.

I hate it. Everything. about. it. Spongebob USED to be good. It used to have this dark little sense of humor that somehow still made it appropriate for children. Now, his voice seems to be higher and he's infinitely whinier than before. It's hard to describe. Back then, he was the every day weirdo you see. NOW, Nickelodeon seems to be implying he's gay. What a use for all those holes, eh?

But my attack will not end there. Much like a decepticon, I shall press onwards. That show Fanboy and Chum Chum is another annoying one. It's loud, stupid and very much obscene at times. I'm not being a whiny parent considering a) I have no kids and b) there is a fine line between stupid humor and just being stupid. No prizes for guessing which side this fucknugget is on. This show is so bad, I actually got migraines from my brother watching this brainfart that people spent MONEY making. Here's a tip, Nickelodeon: Stop letting your writers smoke cheap weed. They produce crappy ideas.

Okay, now this requires a little further stretch of the imagination. There is this show in between shows involving a kid and her mom cooking. This may surprise you, but guess what?

I hate it. REALLY, I DO.

Call me an anarchist, but I just despise malaysian made shows. Okay, more accurately, I hate malaysian made shows attempting to be western and failing epicly. From the girl's condescending attitude to her annoying bitch-ass voice, I really, really, REALLY want to pop a cap in something when I hear the show starting. But then again, I guess I'm just out of the required age range.

Ah, HIMYM, T70S and Doctor Who, never leave me.

It's just how I roll

3/5/11

Can I just say it out?

I PASSED MY UNDANG.

oh, and I... no, can't say it yet.

oh, and I has sniper rifle. yup.

I don't know how to tell you, actually. How do I tell you that you make me feel like I want to feel again? That you are a rare good thing to happen in my life after so many ridiculous years. And you probably find me annoying as hell (because I would too), and that eats me up. And when I'm not imagining (or predicting) that you despise my presence, you make me feel like I actually mean something to someone.

...

I'll get there eventually, I'm sure. After 3 years of being a cynic, you tend to be afraid to put your emotions out there. I'm staying a cynic, but jsut without a 100% hate-rate.

which reminds me: I. hate. rempits.

Not even OG rempits. I mean rempits= malay dumbasses who were all failed abortions.

I hate their stupid hair. their stupid voices. the annoying stench of cigarettes. Don't even get me started on the look. that nicotine-deficient look that just makes me want to punch the mother of all things good and use her body as a club to beat the crap outta this dude's mom for not using a condom.

and on to real rempits, I loathe them with a passion. I feel like sitting on the side of highways with a NO MOTOR-fucking-CYCLE sign and beating the motherfucker over the head with it everytime they drive by. I guess they are allowed there, cus that's NOT EVEN A MOTORCYCLE.

Oh, this deserves a paragraph on it's own. That piece of motorized scrap metal. It's a glorified bicycle. A motorcycle is a harley. They take up a lane like a NORMAL vehicle. They sound GOOD revving. you guys drive cheap trash cans made of bottlecaps and vitagen foil and start up the engine to get the sound of a rubber band having an orgasm fucking a 2-dollar bill. It's so insignificant, it doesn't pay road tax because even with a passenger, it doesn't have molecular density to be counted as an ordinary vehicle.

And the women. Oh god, the women. What woman hears that horrible sound and thinks "yup, I dated a MAN". Good whore, you are stupid. Just so you know.

The races. yes, these stupid things. Hey, I should get 18 wheelers into a race in the opposite direction. talk about fun. cleaning you guys outta the grill.

This seems half-assed, sorry folks. feeling a little blank

It's just how I roll

27/3/11

Today's rant will be a little different. I will start hating on not just people, but stuff.

I mean, let's face it: nothing's perfect, but hell, sometimes things just plain suck.

Take for example- Facebook. It's pretty awesome. It occasionally comes up with new features. Sometimes they're cool (tagging friends in a status) and sometimes they take adjustment (liking comments. But when you add something like having the ability to ask questions- you just darn blew it.

I mean, let's first put it out that it doesn't matter what you ask, no one cares anyways. No one honestly feels that someone should support the epic Mac vs Pc argument. As with anything on facebook, the goal is that it makes them feel important. The jack-off posting the question is like "OHEMGEEZ. PEOPLE ANSWER3D IT. I ARE AWESOMEZ" and the cunts reading it are like THEY DESERVE MY ANSWERS.

Also, the fact that anyone can add their OWN answers kinda defeats the purpose, no? I mean, if I could phrase the answer MY way, couldn't you have just asked it as a status and then let me comment on it with my answer? Seriously guys, you really fucked it up big time.

You can tell me what you want, but this is what I'll say about it. Especially when losers put irrelevant answers. Cockbites.

Secondly, Glee Season 2. It's been out a while, but I just got around to watching it. The music is occasionally good and the cast is still pretty charming in what they do, I'll give them that. But are you kidding me with the plots?

Season 1 was pretty solid. Aside from some of the weirder parts, they seemed real. Real teenagers with real problems. Now it's like they've been reduced to whiny little 12 year olds. I shit you not.

I don't mean it in the whole 'when you think about it, they really are' kinda way, I mean WHAT THE FUCK YOU PEOPLE, SHUT UP.

This whole "you said you'd never break up with me!" thing seriously pushes my buttons. WHAT. THE. HELL. especially the pressure they put on a fucking relationship. Geez, people.

I mean, I get the whole mood thing, but still. Any idea how pathetic it sounds that the most important person in your life is your boyfriend? Just say it out loud, you get what I mean. But I guess if you're cynical, you can watch it to have a good laugh. Suddenly, Fox seems very smart indeed.

Finally, chain mail. I don't get why, but people do it. I hate the ones on facebook where people are like "like this status if you're my friend". Is it really THAT important to have 26 likes? Does it win you a trip to Madagascar? Get you on Oprah? Make korean pop stars sit on your lap?

Worse still, people who take it seriously. If I'm your friend, I'll prove it by actually being there for you. Not by liking your status. If I love God, I have no need to yell it out on facebook. Seriously? get a life people. I may do geeky things, but those are in the name of having a good laugh. You guys are just sad.

It's just how I roll

21/3/11

I hate being sick. If I had someone worrying about me, I guess I would... ah fuck it, I'd hate it anyways. hate hate hate.

I also hate when my pokemon game keeps crashing on me. I need to train sandshrew, dammit!

Here's hoping a hate rant will get me feeling better.

I hate the naivety of things. The world's round, dammit. We're standing on the surface of something that burns 3x as hot as the sun, floating in an airless vacuum.

Couples piss me off. I mean, seriously. I may be one of them when I find someone to ride shotgun, but until then this is my word, so be it. "I'm so lonely without you" BULLSHIT. You know a guy for a year and suddenly he's your pacemaker?

I hate everything about them. Their in-your-faceness. The blowing off. The smart-ass-ness that comes with the title.

the polluting of my god-damned-facebook. The inconvenience. The simplicity in making either party depressed. I just hate it all. In fact, if I ever become that, then I'll make sure that everything I do is payback for the rest of you lot.

I hate being sick. Wanting to press on in life, when all you need is to lie down and sleep. Or worse, wanting to lie down and sleep, when you need to press on.

I despise wildlife. Not furry little animals, they're awesome. But annoying people that just won't shut up. especially those who butcher my favourite songs. I hate when they all pump up their annoying music simultaneously so I can't think. I hate it when I can't bring an M-16 to college.

I don't know why I'm so afraid of my results. It shouldn't bother me, but it does. It's keeping me up at night. It's that door in the house I'm just too scared to open.

Press on, I guess.

It's just how I roll