Tuesday, July 12, 2011

12/7/11

Well, i've been complaining about a lack of things to hate, so VOILA, MOTHERFUCKERS. thank you for this horrible present which you call modern tv shows.

I don't know why, but I hate them. Most, if not all of what's on tv is crap. And this isn't to say "I want my 90s cartoons back" I don't even need to GO that far. Ben 10 was good. TFA and Teen Titans, Good. JUSTICE LEAGUE: GOOD. And if you wanna be a bitch and tell me I only like shows with continuity, fine. FAIRLY ODD PARENTS AND SPONGEBOB WERE GOOD.

emphasis here would be the word WERE. I don't know how to describe it, but at some point, Nickelodeon and Disney must have sucked the same cock, because the shows nowadays all suck.

I'll try to let this out nicely. Disney is now into stupid anime shit with really crappy animation and a need to be more 'malaysian'. More on that later, the anime shit really pisses me off. But then again, I haven't seen any disney shows lately, so I guess it's time for the malaysian shit.

Now, I've always been biased about malaysian cartoons. They tend to suck, in all honesty. One day, someone creates Upin And Ipin. This full CGI series that shows... malaysian life? sure. whatever. And I guess that's all nice and stuff.

I guess I wouldn't hate it as much if it wasn't always hailed as the greatest thing to come out of malaysia. I mean, I hear it being called the pinnacle of Malaysian animation, and I have to tell you: that's a joke. Seriously. We can do SO MUCH BETTER. Did anyone know about the malaysians working on Transformers?
Okay, that's not fair.
...wait a minute.
YES IT IS. IT'S TOTALLY FAIR. I mean, BEAST WARS looks better than this, and it's almost 20 YEARS OLD. There, was an unfair statement. Beast wars was awesome.

Okay, U/I aside, I'm totally cool with that. that's done. Of course, they had to make another show with super powers and shit and racist stereotypes in the exact same style. But I can't attack that until I've been forced to sit through an episode of that. And after U/I, I'm pretty well fortified.

So now that I am done bashing Disney on the TV front, I shall move on to arch enemy number 2: Nickelodeon.

I hate it. Everything. about. it. Spongebob USED to be good. It used to have this dark little sense of humor that somehow still made it appropriate for children. Now, his voice seems to be higher and he's infinitely whinier than before. It's hard to describe. Back then, he was the every day weirdo you see. NOW, Nickelodeon seems to be implying he's gay. What a use for all those holes, eh?

But my attack will not end there. Much like a decepticon, I shall press onwards. That show Fanboy and Chum Chum is another annoying one. It's loud, stupid and very much obscene at times. I'm not being a whiny parent considering a) I have no kids and b) there is a fine line between stupid humor and just being stupid. No prizes for guessing which side this fucknugget is on. This show is so bad, I actually got migraines from my brother watching this brainfart that people spent MONEY making. Here's a tip, Nickelodeon: Stop letting your writers smoke cheap weed. They produce crappy ideas.

Okay, now this requires a little further stretch of the imagination. There is this show in between shows involving a kid and her mom cooking. This may surprise you, but guess what?

I hate it. REALLY, I DO.

Call me an anarchist, but I just despise malaysian made shows. Okay, more accurately, I hate malaysian made shows attempting to be western and failing epicly. From the girl's condescending attitude to her annoying bitch-ass voice, I really, really, REALLY want to pop a cap in something when I hear the show starting. But then again, I guess I'm just out of the required age range.

Ah, HIMYM, T70S and Doctor Who, never leave me.

It's just how I roll

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