Friday, February 25, 2011

25/2/11

so let's go for that hate rant, shall we?
I know, it's pathetic. People are making a difference, falling in love, or at least dying in the name of science all over the world, and my legacy will be rants on how I wish they'd be converted into radioactive material to power the nukes I will later use to conquer the world.
I guess it should start with WHY I hate the world. I mean, everyone has this deep story about how they held their loved ones as they died from gamma radiation or bullet wound or maybe they just witnessed a murder or something...

I assure you, I am WAY shallower than that. You know my reason?
people= stupid. They either let you down, or they just ignore the obvious (guess I should explain the difference)

have you ever watched someone play solitaire? Not those elaborate saw-booby traps where if you don't draw fast enough your heart stops, but just a normal hateful game of solitaire. imagine the person playing has this bloody obvious move and they don't see it. You don't care if it really is attached to their pacemaker, but the fact they missed the move just makes you want to punch a guy in the face.

Okay, that wasn't clear enough. that implies I know the guy. Imagine you're hungry. Like fuck hungry. And there are 15 minutes in your lunch break, of the 3 you spent doing a mad sonic the hedgehog sprint UP a flight of stairs to get to the fucking Mcdonalds. And there's a guy in front of you who asks for the entire menu fucking repeated to him. In my world, it would be totally legal to have that guy castrated. and then executed.

That explains the latter, now for the former.

Not as elaborate a description, I guess it can be explained with a simple scenario. You've calculated the perfect plan to blow the shit out of the bad guy who's got a princess in his dungeon. you were going to save the world. then some dumbass decides that based on the powers of trust and friendship, he can solo every bitch-ass there and save the day.

Not my best description, but bare with me. I'm half asleep.

Now that we've got my reason for doing this covered, let's get on to the point.

If anyone reading this knows me, they'll know how crazy my imagination is when I don't know something. they'll also know it's not the most optimistic part of me. So somehow, believing that everyone around you is a whore, isn't so paranoid when in your head because in your world, it makes total fucking sense.
What's worse is when they assure you it won't happen. oh no, it'll never happen. 'good people'. PFFt. Only good people exist are the dead ones. cus you only remember the fucking good stuff about them when they're gone. even if you remember the bad stuff, you're pressured into forgetting it because they won't let you mention it anyways.

It's a let down, you know? almost makes me want to go back on all my promises and just go and fucking smoke my brains into mush. It's like I go to see Transformers 3 and the robots in the teaser are ALL the screentime they get, because the movie is 2.5 hours of TWILIGHT DIALOGUE.

While i'm on that topic of novels highlighting the importance of sucking someone's dick on a regular basis, can I just say that some relationships are just stupid?
I mean, to literally melt into depressing puddles of sadness because you let a guy walk all over you and he decides to end it. No shit, sherlock. this is a psychological conundrum even Freud couldn't solve.

I guess i'm being a little too general. not everyone spends their nights crying like Kristen Stewart and crying like Robert Pattinson. It's called a life. Have it? it's when you actually do something on the side to fall back on, instead of trying to fit a fucking elephant on a fucking rowboat.

Excessive metaphors bring me to something else: melodramatic emo fags. poetic is one thing, productive rants another, but to sit in a corner and whine like a little bitchfag just 'cus someone called you out for bringing nothing to the group but a negative IQ just isn't cool. Especially when you whine that no one replies to your fucking 'IM BOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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d.

I'm sorry, you must have me confused for fucking OPRAH. It's like summer blockbusters: if you're not gonna contribute anything remotely different to a conversation, do us a favor and shove a fucking firecracker up your ass and light it!

Okay, I'll admit: as a leader, I suck. out loud. I kinda goofed on my last assignment and my teammates are picking up on the slack. but seriously, this guy takes the cake. No where in any job description does it say breastfeed emote-abusing emo dickweed.

Before I actually press the button to send all this hate into cyberspace, I have one last target to headshot repeatedly: Fast-food workers.

Is it just me, or is stupid part of your pre-requisites? it's bad enough when I can calculate change faster than you can type the number in your till, and pause a sec, because you should be fucking familiar with that till because you WORK THERE, remember? but to basically just be slow and inefficient is practically asking for your ass to be kicked.
I don't mind slow people, it might just be a natural disability. But fat people, oh do they get it. The ones that deserve the shotgun? depressed fat people. So a guy called you stupid. Why are you taking it out on my fried chicken? He probably called you stupid because you're still stuck at KFC and you still wind up pressing 9 on your fucking keypad when you want to type 112 with your hippo-headed fingers.

That should settle things for today. But don't think i'm done with you lot yet.

It's just how I roll

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