Part 2, Self loathing

Things I learnt today:
I am never going to get anything done my way,
I am a failure.
Nothing I do will ever turn out right,
because I am a retard.
It is stupid to even try,
and I should be struck by lightning. At least that will be some form of highlight to my life.


Losing the battle for power

17/11

When will I learn to keep my mouth shut?
Fuck all this. Maybe I'm an accident on the face of this planet. Maybe I'm here simply to see how far I can be pressed.
The one good thing to happen in my life, and I fuck it up.
I feel like showering in kerosene and lighting a match.
That'll make EVERYONE happy, now wouldn't it?

Losing the battle for power

14th Nov

So, how many things can we say happened today?
They say everyone has their limits. I know mine now.

When you call a teacher a fucking retard for him to hear, it's kinda downhill from there.
But dammit, he deserved it. Completely. Hell, I should have just stood my ground. Dang containment measures.

Today was great though. Just spending time with her, it was awesome.
Even that half-second on the couch.
:)
Even the battle for power means nothing.

12/11/09

blammo, you're dead.
yay, my exams are over.
Seriously, time flies by really fast.

How we step up, assume power bestowed,
when only flashes ago were you looking to gain influence.
So quickly does the future bear down upon us,
and everything changes.

Losing the battle for power

10/11/9

Exams, how I loathe thee.
With all intensity and furiosity,
you make my mind twist and bend,
what the fuck, why can't you end?!

Losing the battle for power

6th November.

Okay, Exams have fucked me up badly. Seriously, I am failing all of them D:

To hold you close; the real dream,
Against all odds; all rules,
We'd be together; no matter the quo,
and that way we would last forever.

You,
Even the moon shines down with envy,
For only on her most glorious of nights,
Can she match a fraction of your beauty.

Spring wore a frown when I boasted thee,
Autumn itself, humbled,
corpses rose, and turned, and said;
'At least in my life, I have seen an angel'.

The flowers were shy to bloom once they had seen her,
even the Mona Lisa looked away,
afraid of being compared, condemned,
and afraid of being dropped for her.

And yet, I only stare at her, from my window,
but my heart beckons to her, and I shall wait for her response.

Losing the battle for power

1st Nov: Memorandum

It's been 2 years since the break-up that changed life itself.
In the interests of psychological development, let's see how much has changed.

2 years is a long time, particularly for me. I have never actually for any other since, other than the occasional good taco.
It still bugs me to be alone, even if I am now synonymous with the word 'patience'.

I've become slightly more daring in the mean time, and slightly less cool-headed.

either ways, happy anniversary Hann, glad to see one of us has improved in this time.

Losing the battle for power